I wish I had been Isadora Duncan

I wish I had been Isadora Duncan,

Whose passionate dances moved people to tears

And who lived the life of a true artist.

I wish I had been Isadora Duncan, even

Despite her untimely end

Entangled with her scarf in the spokes of her wheels

And buried amongst the greats in Pere Lachaise.

Instead of teaching second rate drama students

Bright eyed with wonder,

Whose spirits will be crushed

As they make Shakespeare sound like Beckett.

I wish I had been Judi Dench,

Serious actress yet comedienne too

Q to James Bond, Elizabeth I to Fiennes' Shakespeare

(Though I would never have done As Time Goes By.)

Receiving my dame-hood from the Queen

With humility, grace and good humour.

Rather than getting my degree

From Anglia Tech poly

And slaving at a provincial theatre

Until I finally admitted defeat and took this job.

I wish I had been Patsy Rodenburg

Mistress of voice, never deferent,

Teaching accent, diction, character

To the RSC and the brights at Guildhall.

Never one to boast I would be safe

In the knowledge of my contribution

And would speak modestly on Radio 4.

Rather than acting as Set Designer

Lighting Technician, Props Sourcer, Prompt

To my pupils who haven't learned their lines.

I wish I had been Tom Stoppard,

Pre-eminent playwright of the modern age,

Feted at opening nights at the Royal Court

Re-writing Hamlet, declaring

Rozenkratz and Guildenstern are dead.

I'd be a muse for the younger generation,

Who would try and emulate my style,

And I'd be delicioulsy indulgent to them.

But I find myself here in this echoing hall.

Surrounded by 18 year olds pretending to be trees.

Yet I put on my face.

And I enthuse at their efforts.

Maybe I can act after all.